I do not write nearly as often as I’d like to. I always have the best intentions, but never seem to practice the craft more than a couple of times a month. Since the new year is right around the corner, I decided it’s time to make that change. The inspiration came from a little book my best friend got me for Christmas (642 Tiny Things to Write About). Some of the prompts are profound, some are silly, and some are inspiring, but every last one of them is an opportunity. So, whenever I get the urge to write and don’t have enough time to tackle a novel, I’ll randomly select one of the prompts and write about it on this page. I can’t promise it will be well written or even entertaining to read, but it will be… different. If anybody would like to respond to these prompts along with me, please feel free to link your Writing Prompts page in the comments area so I can come check it out at add the link under my response in the post itself.

Next Prompt: Fill in the blank, then keep going. “In my next life, I wish to be___.”

#6 You’ve just committed a horrific crime. You’ve stolen a cute, fat baby out of the stroller at the beach and driven home with it. You are acting on a strong impulse; but now you’re coming to your senses and you’ve got to make some hard decisions. What do you do next? (6/26/17)*

First of all: WTF is wrong with you? Consider for a minute how precious your bouncing baby boy is to you… Why would you take that from someone else??? Don’t give me all of that hogwash about wanting another baby but not wanting to put in the work of nine months to get one – that should make you MORE compassionate towards those who you wish to wrong. If basic human decency doesn’t sway you, then maybe practicality will: twice the baby means twice the work! Double feedings, double messy diapers, double screaming, double no sleep at night. Oh, so the “no sleep” thing is finally what broke through? Okay, now that you’re finally in a rational mindset, let’s say we return the baby. Or better yet, let’s say we go back in time and refrain from taking it in the first place.

*Please note that it took me two years to respond to this prompt… that’s how stupid I thought it was. Instead of just changing it, I avoided it.

#5 Name the model and a key detail of your first car. (5/12/15)

My first car was a Ford Escort, which is ironic considering it had trouble escorting me anywhere. I didn’t care though because it was a gorgeous cerulean blue and marked my first leap of independence. During one particular bitch of a winter, I was in too much of a hurry to scrape all of the ice off of my windows and accidentally pulled out in front of a colossal white truck. That truck scraped off my front bumper so smoothly that I didn’t even feel the impact. We had to stick it back on with chicken wire and chewing gum, and I drove it like that for another year. Sad to say my vehicles have not gotten much better since. Who needs a huge car payment, anyway?

#4: The girl voted “most popular” in your high school class: where is she now? (1/19/15)

On paper, you would think that the girl voted “most popular” would have an edge on the rest of us when entering the real world. After all, she’s proven to be well-groomed, charismatic, socially adept, and a good leader. But most of us know life doesn’t always work out the way you think it will. Used to having the world revolve around her, she cannot quite manage to humble herself enough to take direction – and therefore can not keep any job more than a couple of months. Although she is a bright girl, she didn’t put any effort in to studying when in high school, allowing the dorky, bespeckled boy in her homeroom class to do her work for her – and therefore does not have the work ethic needed to push herself through college. Finally, having grown accustomed to being the center of attention, she loses all self-worth and confidence when no one is around to build her up – therefore committing herself to all manner of abusive relationships with men who feed off of this weakness.

Eventually, she will get it together – learning to find worth within herself, work hard for her dreams, and get her hands a bit dirty to get where she wants to go – however, it will have taken her hell of a lot longer than the rest of us.

#3: Tell us about something surprising that happened to you recently, in one paragraph. Then tell us about it in a Facebook post. Then tell us about it in a tweet. (1/3/15)

I was typing at my desk this morning when the shadow of something colossal flying overhead blocked out the light through my window. Craning my neck, I caught a glimpse of metallic blue before it vanished… could it be? Paper and pens flew in every direction as I scrambled out of my office, down the stairs, and out the front door.  Then I saw it. Heading towards the mountains, it’s powerful wings beating the air rhythmically as it flew higher and higher, was a dragon. A real, live dragon! I squinted in the sunlight as he got further away, tears of joy streaming down my face. Everybody thought I was crazy, but I always knew dragons were real.

I just got one step closer to becoming a dragonrider – a beautiful blue dragon just flew over my house!!! :D

Dragons DO exist! I knew it! #dragonlove #magicisreal #toldyouso

#2: You live on a cloud. Gives three tips for how not to fall off. (12/30/14)

Tip 1: Bring a friend. Use what I like to call the “otter” system by grasping hands when you lie down to sleep for the night. Don’t let go.
Tip 2: Wear snowshoes. When you walk around, they will prevent you from falling through. I realize they might look a little stupid, but trust me, they’re infinitely better than becoming the world’s biggest raindrop.
Tip 3: Don’t look at the birds. Seriously. I’ve seen it a thousand times – a flock of birds will fly by, looking all graceful and free and shit, and every time at least one moron gets all “inspired” to join them. You are not a bird. I repeat: YOU ARE NOT A BIRD!

#1: You accidentally open your neighbor’s mailbox. What do you find? (12/27/14)

Junk mail. A lot of it. Apparently my neighbors aren’t any better at clearing out their mailbox than I am my own. There’s also an assortment of bills and bank statements that should probably be attended to sooner rather than later. A small pile of red and green envelopes are mixed throughout the pile – Christmas cards from friends and family alike. I resist the impulse to flip through them to see who they’re from. As I’m about to close the box and attend my own, a small brown package underneath the pile of papers catches my eye. It’s a package from Amazon. From the size and shape I conclude that it’s either a DVD or video game. Considering the date, it’s probably a late or forgotten Christmas present. Judging by the frequent sounds of explosions and gunfire that has often trickled through my walls at infrequent times of the day, I assume it’s likely action-related, which means I likely have even more wall-shaking excitement to look forward to. Of course, this is all speculation, and not knowing what really resides inside the package will bother me for weeks. Sliding the small box back into place underneath the mountain of mail, I close their box and move to my own. Mischief managed.