Mar 17 2025

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Book Review: A Practical Guide to Conquering the World by K.J. Parker

Title: A Practical Guide to Conquering the World

Author: K.J. Parker

Series: The Siege Trilogy #3

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: 4/5 Stars

The Overview: This is the true story of Aemilius Felix Boioannes the younger, the intended and unintended consequences of his life, the bad stuff he did on purpose, and the good stuff that happened in spite of him. It is, in other words, the tale of a war to end all wars, and the man responsible. -Goodreads

The Review:

I’m so glad I read this trilogy. The first book was the strongest, but there’s so much good stuff in the rest of it that I still recommend the entire thing highly.

The writing voice and style choices are always what strike me first when I start a Parker novel, convincing me it’s written by someone who knows all the rules masterfully enough to break them with flair. Everything from the construction of the series as a whole to certain ways he drops in backstory – it’s all so good I feel like I need to read it again to pick up on the even subtler things I missed. Add to all of that a deeply funny infusion of dry humor, and you have novels that fire on all cylinders in my wee brain.

Felix’s story was interesting, cleverly written, and abundant with “keep reading to find out more” mechanisms that had me engrossed. Each MC POV so far has had a particular talent that lends itself to the plot, and Felix’s eclectic ones were especially fun, adding a nice variety to the story.

One of the most compelling things about this trilogy was finding out how he was going to tie the whole series together. Books 2 & 3 start out seemingly unrelated, but slowly start to show their connections. I will say the way in which they relate ended up being a bit looser than I was hoping for, but ultimately the journey of discovery was worth the effort.

Also did I mention it was funny? Perhaps not quite as funny as the first book, but overall I’ve read this entire trilogy with a constant edge of amusement (kind of like with a Pratchett book, only darker), which is a big part of why I enjoyed it so much. I genuinely can’t wait to read more from this author. Consider him a new Obsessive Bookseller favorite!

This is one of those series you read for a certain vibe/mood, and I’m hoping to find more of this specific craving in his other works (good thing he has so many!). Another good comparison is that it reads like a more jovial version of Abercrombie. Who knew grimdark would end up being the types of books that tickle me the most? Maybe it has something to do with the contrast of so many darker moments making the smidgen of light and hope shine through all the brighter. Or perhaps I just relate to it more – when everything’s gone to shit, you may as well laugh.

Recommendations: read at least the first book, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City, as it’s the strongest (and I think it would be just fine as a stand-alone). However, if you’re even a fraction as delighted with it as I was, I think you’ll like the rest of the trilogy too. But seriously that first book -> a must read!

Thank you to my Patrons: Dave, Katrin, Frank, Jen, Sonja, Staci, Kat, Betsy, Eliss, Mike, Elizabeth, Bee, Tracey, Dagmara, and Poochtee! <3

Other books you might like:

by Niki Hawkes

Mar 12 2024

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Book Review: 16 Ways to Defend a Walled City by K.J. Parker

Title: 16 Ways to Defend a Walled City

Author: K.J. Parker

Series: Siege #1

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: 5/5 stars!

The Overview: This is the story of Orhan, son of Siyyah Doctus Felix Praeclarissimus, and his history of the Great Siege, written down so that the deeds and sufferings of great men may never be forgotten. A siege is approaching, and the city has little time to prepare. The people have no food and no weapons, and the enemy has sworn to slaughter them all. To save the city will take a miracle, but what it has is Orhan. A colonel of engineers, Orhan has far more experience with bridge-building than battles, is a cheat and a liar, and has a serious problem with authority. He is, in other words, perfect for the job. -Goodreads

The Review:

I’m going to need more K.J. Parker books to devour.

What a total delight! Written in a chronicled, sardonic tone, this was like a mashup between Abercrombie and Pratchett. There were a few brutal elements, but the levity of the tone always kept it from feeling too dark.

And I laughed out loud. A lot.

Mostly at the dry, situational humor. And it’s not just WHAT he said, it’s HOW he said it that made it funny. The writing style was easily my favorite thing about the book. Written in a chronicling fashion, it truly read like some bloke recounting a story about “that one time I…” and whatnot. The narrative switches tenses, talks to the reader, and even confuses pronouns. It’s what makes me want to read more of Parker’s works asap. I love it when authors get creative and break rules, especially when it’s done this deftly.

The main character was great, with a self-preservation streak as long as the bridges he builds, but compassionate enough to root for. And complex enough to make me internalize some of the hard decisions he faced. Superb. Parker struck the balance perfectly of slightly over-the-top characters without making them stupid. This book is such a strong perspective piece and it’s clear all of the supporting characters were made more amusing due to how the main character viewed them all. Truly immersive.

I’m really close to fangirling. I can’t wait to read more Parker and am excited to have found a new author to geek out about. Allen from the Library of Allenxandria was right!

Recommendations: If you’re having withdrawals from Abercrombie, de Castell, or Pratchett, read this book.

Thank you to my Patrons: Dave, Katrin, Frank, Jen, Sonja, Staci, Kat, Betsy, Eliss, Mike, and Elizabeth! <3

Other books you might like:

by Niki Hawkes

Jan 28 2022

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Book Review: Memories of Ice by Steven Erikson

Title: Memories of Ice

Author: Steven Erikson

Series: Malazan #3

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: 5/5 stars

The Overview: The ravaged continent of Genabackis is a terrifying new empire, the Pannion Domin, that devours all. An uneasy allliance resists: Onearm’s army, Whiskeyjack’s Bridgeburners and former enemies – forces of Warlord Caladan Brood, Anomander Rake and his Tiste Andii mages, and the Rhivi people of the plains. And the Crippled God intends revenge. -Goodreads

The Review:

It took me three months to read Memories of Ice, but it was worth every single moment.

My favorite thing about this series so far is how expansive and immersive it is. I love good world building in books, especially the kind that continues to introduce new elements, then expand on them as the series progresses. Every single chapter of this book had something mentioned in passing that I wanted to know more about. So many different branches and possibilities that I just can’t wait to spend time with in future books. It’s awesome.

Let’s talk about the characters. All 1000 of them. Actually, this is the first novel where I finally felt like I had a decent handle of all the playmakers in this series. Mind you, I still used the kindle XRay feature constantly to make sure I knew who was who, but I had to use it perhaps a little less often than in previous books. I find all the characters wildly interesting. All of them. And the development of these characters is in line with how everything else is written for the series. You’re basically just plunked into different situations with these people and their depth is gradually revealed through their words and actions. I don’t feel connected to them through deep individual character exploration you can find in other series, but rather in a camaraderiec manner where I feel closer to them because of all the shit we’ve been through together. It’s totally relatable and immersive and unlike anything I’ve experienced before.

This series is so unique. There are elements in here that wouldn’t work for me in any other context. Totally fanciful, ridiculous things that jump the shark left and right, but somehow you just go with it despite that mental twinge of “this is really freaking weird.” I think it all works because of how committed the author is to his trajectory. He immediately builds your trust that he’s taking the story somewhere and everything within exists for a reason. Sit back, shut up, and trust the process. He has my complete confidence in his ability to deliver on his promises, so I’m uncharacteristically willing to give the ridiculous stuff the benefit of the doubt to see where it takes me. I appreciate how fully committed to the vision you have to be to love this series, and I’m all there – totally ready for the next chapter.

Overall, as dense and time-consuming as these books are, I’m enjoying the hell out of them and can’t wait to see where it goes next. Some of the scenes in this book were downright cinematic with drama and excitement, and I’ll be replaying them in my mind for quite a while.

Someone’s off-handed comment (definitely not meant as a spoiler, but I’m really, really good at making inferences) inadvertently wrecked a major plot point for me, so I’m feeling sad about that and trying not to let that disappointment affect my rating and overall satisfaction with the book. I think I would’ve been singing the praises at a solid 5-stars otherwise – this was truly a masterpiece with countless promises of amazing things to come.

Recommendations: this is the most dense, vicious, complex, expansive thing I’ve ever read. I would never recommend it casually because it takes a lot of time and energy to read. But from my experience so far with it, it’s totally worth the effort. Pro tip: get the kindle ebook version if you can so you can flip back and look at character names in context of the story. I would definitely not be enjoying this nearly as much without that feature. The beauty is in the nuances, which are nigh impossible to keep track of without help.

Other books you might like:

by Niki Hawkes

Jun 2 2021

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Book Review: The Blacktongue Thief by Christopher Buehlman

Title: The Blacktongue Thief

Author: Christopher Buehlman

Series: Blacktongue #1

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: 4/5 stars

The Overview: Kinch Na Shannack owes the Takers Guild a small fortune for his education as a thief, which includes (but is not limited to) lock-picking, knife-fighting, wall-scaling, fall-breaking, lie-weaving, trap-making, plus a few small magics. His debt has driven him to lie in wait by the old forest road, planning to rob the next traveler that crosses his path. But today, Kinch Na Shannack has picked the wrong mark. Galva is a knight, a survivor of the brutal goblin wars, and handmaiden of the goddess of death. She is searching for her queen, missing since a distant northern city fell to giants. Unsuccessful in his robbery and lucky to escape with his life, Kinch now finds his fate entangled with Galva’s. Common enemies and uncommon dangers force thief and knight on an epic journey where goblins hunger for human flesh, krakens hunt in dark waters, and honor is a luxury few can afford. -Goodreads

The Review:

When Robin Hobb calls something “Dazzling.” I stop what I’m reading and pick it up.

This book was an absolute delight from start to finish. I laughed out loud so many times, it might now hold the record. It’s that dry, sardonic humor I always appreciate combined with a strong voice that carried the entire story. Definitely unconventional, it was funny without being stupid and animated without being overdone.

I was completely enamored until about the 80% mark, then my evaluation brain kicked on for a bit and I started to wonder if the story was amounting to anything or if was just all about the character and the delivery. The plot was incredibly straightforward and linear, in sharp contrast to a lot of the more complex fantasy novels being written these days. However it was still really interesting, containing some of the best chapter hooks I’ve read in ages. I definitely don’t mind simple as long as it’s done well.

What I do mind is lack of growth, little momentum, and small payoffs. It seemed to me the main character was in the exact same state of mind at the end of the book as he was at the beginning. Showing practically no growth, it made his character come across very surface-level. If not for the brilliant use of humor to show depth (somewhat reminiscent of Abercrombie’s Glokta, but a bit more jovial) I think I would’ve lost patience with him early on.

As it stands, the character voice and witty humor were enough to carry the book and make it incredibly fun to read despite the lack of aforementioned development or any sort of momentum. If those two things improve even a little in the next book while maintaining the elements I loved, I could have a new favorite on my hands. As it is, it’s just loads of irreverent fun.

Audiobook production: I was about halfway through the book, thinking the narrator was doing a great job digging into the nuances of the dialogue and delivering everything in a very conversational manner, before realizing that it was being read by the author himself O_o! To say he did a great job is an understatement. He really brought the text alive with his intimate relationship with the writing and knowledge of how things were supposed to sound. I imagine a few of the more subtle jokes landed because of his delivery that may not have otherwise. The only thing that suffered was the differentiation between characters. I had to pay closer attention to tags to figure out who was speaking because I couldn’t always tell by the voices alone. That was minor though. What was lost in character distinction was more than made up for by his conversational (and hilarious) dialogue. I highly recommend the audiobook. :)

Recommendations: this is a new slightly grimdark fantasy that delivers tenfold on humor and general entertainment. What it lacks in depth it more than makes up for in style. I’d highly recommend this to those who loved my suggested reading below, particularly the Greatcoats series by de Castell.

I’d like to thank Macmillian Audio, Christopher Buelhman, and Netgalley for the chance to read and review an early copy of this title.

Other books you might like:

by Niki Hawkes

Mar 22 2021

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Book Review: Deadhouse Gates by Steven Erikson

Deadhouse Gates by Steven Erikson

Title: Deadhouse Gates

Author: Steven Erickson

Series: Malazan #2

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

The Overview: In the vast dominion of Seven Cities, in the Holy Desert Raraku, the seer Sha’ik and her followers prepare for the long-prophesied uprising known as the Whirlwind. Unprecedented in size and savagery, this maelstrom of fanaticism and bloodlust will embroil the Malazan Empire in one of the bloodiest conflicts it has ever known, shaping destinies and giving birth to legends. -Goodreads

The Review:

I started Deadhouse Gates in January… Of 2019.

The writing is dense, no bout a doubt it, but it took a lot longer than it probably should have to get through the book considering how good it is. Part of my problem is that I’m a perfectionist and a completionist, so if I was going to tackle a series like Malazan, I wanted to make sure I got the full experience from it. There are so many characters and places referenced that it really does take a lot of extra concentration to keep it all straight. And I don’t know about you, but as soon as I start to lose focus and get confused on which character I’m reading about, my level of engagement and investment in the story drops significantly. So I read this at a snail’s pace, utilizing kindle’s X-ray feature what seemed like every freaking page to make sure I knew who or where or what was being referenced. Not to mention that the writing itself is very abrupt and succinct, especially surrounding revelations and epiphanies, so I constantly had to reread passages to make sure I understood all of its implications. All in all, a very slow process. And one that is not conducive to dragging out the reading over several, uh, years. I kept putting it down in favor of things that took less effort and eventually, this past January 2021, decided to lay everything else aside and commit fully to Malazan. I restarted the book and overall, with my full attention devoted, it took about three months to read.

It was soooooo worth the effort!

There’s no doubt in my mind that this book and series (as far as I’ve gotten) are masterpieces brilliant in their originality, expansiveness, and execution. The reading experience is unlike anything I’ve come across before (clearly) and the total immersion required almost guarantees you’re going to take a few gut punches. I can see why so many proficient fantasy readers hold Malazan on a pedestal – it’s truly an amazing story.

Believe it or not, DG was actually a little easier to follow than Gardens of the Moon. There were fewer new characters to follow and it seemed like we circled back to them more frequently. I particularly loved the elegant plot construction. It was an intertwined, unfolding “dance” of information and convergence of characters that built to an amazing peak that left my brain wheeling. It was so thoughtful and so well-executed. I truly can’t wait to see what the author has in store for me next. Now that I think I’ve gotten the hang of reading this series, I’m hoping I’ll be able to clip along a bit faster.

So how do I rate something like this? If I’m applying based on merit alone, it’s a solid 5 stars. However I think it’s important to also consider my actual reading experience with the book, and the fact that it took so much time and effort should be represented (even though that’s just as much on me as it is the writing). 4.5 stars it is.

Recommendations: this is one of the most remarkable books I’ve ever read and I consider the series a must-try for fans of the fantasy genre. It’s not for everyone and will require a lot more concentration than most novels, but the payoff is well worth the effort. Maybe try not to be as anal-retentive as I was in keeping the details straight and just enjoy the process (after all, if an element is truly important the author will most assuredly highlight it again at some point). If you can get into the swing of it, get ready for one of the coolest reading experiences you’ll ever have!

Other books you might like:

: When the Heavens Fall by Marc Turner

: The Blade Itself by Joe Abercrombie

: The Last Stormlord by Glenda Larke

: Mirror Empire by Kameron Hurley

: Promise of Blood by Brian McClellan

by Niki Hawkes

Mar 19 2021

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Book Review: The Heroes by Joe Abercrombie

The Heroes by Joe Abercrombie

Title: The Heroes

Author: Joe Abercrombie

Series: First Law World #5

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: 4/5 stars

The Overview: They say Black Dow’s killed more men than winter, and clawed his way to the throne of the North up a hill of skulls. The King of the Union, ever a jealous neighbor, is not about to stand smiling by while he claws his way any higher. The orders have been given and the armies are toiling through the northern mud. Thousands of men are converging on a forgotten ring of stones, on a worthless hill, in an unimportant valley, and they’ve brought a lot of sharpened metal with them. For glory, for victory, for staying alive. –Goodreads

The Review:

The Heroes was an entertaining read even though it’s my least favorite of the saga so far.

But not by much. True, it didn’t offer a lot of variety in setting and plot (which I think accounts for why some may not have liked it as much) but it did make up for it considerably with good characters and a really creative execution of the story. It’s essentially a series of battles in the north that take place over the course of just a few days. Bouncing around POVs, it provided insight into what the battle experience was like from every perspective. In that regard I really appreciate the total immersion. There was one battle scene in particular that was done so creatively I’ve never seen anything like it before. Abercrombie’s deft writing style continues to impress me more with every book. He’s definitely solidified among my favorites.

I’ll admit it took me a good 25% to get acclimated with all the characters. I had to use a few more brain cells than normal to keep straight who was on which side. I also thought the POV bounced around too much for me to really get invested at first, but eventually we came back to the same ones often enough that by the halfway point I was super into it. It helped considerably that many of these characters we’ve seen before and I love how Abercrombie expands his reach to give secondary characters a moment to shine. It’s not something you see many authors doing. It’s also cool that some now have a ton of depth and development because we’ve been with them in past novels. It feels like a giddy secret knowing the history behind certain characters when they are still enigmas to those around them. I’m excited to see how Abercrombie ties in the stars of this show in future books. Not surprisingly, Gorst was my favorite here (though they were all good). Reminiscent of Glokta with his many dualities and entertaining inner dialogue, he added that heavy sardonic flair that I’m starting to crave from Abercrombie’s works. I’m not sure how I’m going to cope when I finally get caught up in the series.

This is one of those books which compared to other Abercrombie novels is a bit more modest, but compared to any other book on the market is still superb.

Recommendations: I highly recommend anything Abercrombie as a staple in the fantasy genre. He’s a master of character and writing and the more time I spend with him, the more he solidifies as a new favorite author. Don’t be like me and let the books sit collecting dust for 10 years before picking them up. They’re worth a jump in the TBR.

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